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What I Miss Most
The current Corvid 19 pandemic effected most people’s life in some way. As a widowed man and an empty nester, the current protocol that I have chosen to follow has given me a significant amount of time to reflect on my life. Recently I gave a lot of thought to what I miss most about…
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Permission to Change
My wife and I slept in a king-size bed in the final years of her life. After her death, I continued to sleep in that massive bed, but always on my side, not hers. It was a comfortable bed, but I found I was swimming all over it at night, and it was hard to…
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Settling into Singleness
When not having the privilege of submitting articles to this outstanding group of men, I enjoy reading the exceptional content provided by other writers as well as reading your questions and thoughts. One of the common issues that seem to foster many conversations is dating and new relationships as a widower. Last week I experienced…
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Life, Love and Moving Forward
February 28th will mark the fourth anniversary of the passing of my wife, Robyn. In so many ways it seems like much longer than four years. I wanted to take a few moments to reflect on a few of the things that I have learned during this period. I have often referred to this time…
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Dealing with the feelings that come up around the holidays
All those feelings that come up around the holidays As the holidays approach, I start hearing from folks in my widowhood community. They talk about the variety of feelings the season is bringing up for them. A widower, with sadness and confusion in his voice, tells me that the holidays were always “her thing”. She…
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Holiday Abyss
Everyone will start to tell you within a week of your wife’s passing that you must steel yourself against the trauma of upcoming special days and holidays. We each are likely to have very different experiences during these special days. Much of your reaction will depend upon how important each of those days was for…
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Fear
I was surprised to find myself fearing some things that I hadn’t feared before, or hadn’t feared as much before she died. When I knew I would be alone in the house for the first time after her death, I was afraid of what my emotional reaction might be. I asked my son and his…
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Alone Again
When my wife died, one of the first things I noticed was the silence. Now there was only silence where she once had been. I especially longed to hear her voice; I still do. The house suddenly seemed large and hollow. Soon after she died, my mind raced back to the days just before I…
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Widowers Need To Step Out of The Shadows and Into the Light of Day
By Herb Knoll Author: The Widower’s Journey Grieving men are misunderstood. And for a good reason. After all, men don’t believe they have permission to grieve in the first place. When a man experiences a loss, they frequently resort to their primitive behaviors, suggesting to those who will listen, “I’m fine,” Oh really? Is that…
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Living In-Between?
Many of us have a natural inclination to do the things that we feel we do well. I, in many ways, have found aspects of widowhood very much like that. Last week I experienced what would have been my 19th wedding anniversary and the celebration of 25 years together with my late wife. Periodically I…
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