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YOU ARE THE BOSS NOW!
Remember when you were young, married, and full of misconceptions about your life and marriage? Previously, in our more male-dominated society, you might have believed that as the husband, you were the “boss” in the family! Ha…Ha! Many of us eventually found what a joke that belief was! We often learned that making solo decisions…
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What Can Help Me to Heal?
We have heard it said by many experts there is no correct path on how to deal with grief. Every person’s journey is different, and the roads we travel will be filled with twists and turns. As our founder Herb Knoll has stated many times sitting on the couch will never help us to heal.…
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You Can’t Please Everyone
We widowers often hear that soon after the death of our wives, we will lose many friends and possibly some family ties. This frequently occurs despite our best efforts to maintain these previously reliable and important relationships. This can result in: If we are brave enough, we may try to reach out to those who…
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The Fifth Christmas
My late wife Joyce has been gone for five Christmas seasons. Christmas 2018 found us fighting the effects of a round of platinum based chemo. If you’ve had platinum based chemo in your life, you know what I’m talking about. This picture was taken Christmas Day 2018… She wore masks before they were in fashion.…
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IN HER NAME
When our wives pass, we often ask, “How can we remember, honor, and love them going forward?” That is a huge question for many of us. The answer often plays a significant role in processing and healing our grief. If all we do is hide in our homes and scream, cry, and suffer alone while…
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Unmasked Masculinity: Embracing Grief as Strength
In the unforgiving landscape of grief, the notion of masculinity often takes a beating. Society has long dictated that to be a man means suppressing emotions, concealing pain, and presenting an unyielding facade. But true masculinity, in my opinion, is found in the raw, unfiltered expression of emotions, in the display of wounds, and in…
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It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year unless you are Dealing with Loss
Step into your car, turn the radio on, and I almost guarantee every station is playing holiday music. Walk into a grocery store, a shopping mall, Home Depot, fast food places, and most banks or even the post office, and you will hear holiday songs filling the air. I chose the Andy Williams song for…
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Thankfulness
As I write my column, I am preparing to leave my home in Upstate New York and travel to South Carolina to join my family for our annual Thanksgiving Day tradition: lots of good food, watching football all day and evening, and having a ton of fun. The one person missing is my late wife,…
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Why Are Some Widowers So Angry?
Shortly after my wife’s death, I went to the mountains by myself for a week and screamed as loud and often as I wanted to. But now, seven years later, I no longer feel the anger I felt then. I now forget how easy it was to cut myself off from everyone and to let…
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Just a Note of Thanks
My dear brothers, we have come to the time of year for many of us called the holiday season. For many of you are entering this season for the first time without your loved one. To those of you that are, you have my heartfelt prayers. Recently as the year moves toward a close, I…
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