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Just a Note of Thanks
My dear brothers, we have come to the time of year for many of us called the holiday season. For many of you are entering this season for the first time without your loved one. To those of you that are, you have my heartfelt prayers. Recently as the year moves toward a close, I…
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The Decision to Be Happy
An Excerpt from “When the Rocks Sing” Marty was, in the most profound way, the light and love of my life for the 19 years we were together and beyond. She had the ability to accept her situation at face value, whatever that happened to be, and to make well-reasoned decisions as to how she…
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Quick Hitters # 7
Quick Hitters are brief responses to Questions posed by author Fred Colby to his fellow WSN contributors. They offer a variety of perspectives on some of the most challenging questions facing new widowers. Enjoy. Quick Hitter Question #7: What is the most important thing to do to preserve my relationships with friends and family after…
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A Support Circle Can Help You Heal
Eight years ago, I found myself where many of you are today… in a deep grieving mode without the one person I could always rely upon to hear, support, and love me whenever I faced a major challenge. I, like many of you, had to decide: I recognized early on that I could not do…
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Is Halloween Happy?
It’s October and Halloween is approaching. Therefore you will see signs and hear people say Happy Halloween! But it’s not a Happy Halloween for many. Especially if you have lost loved ones to suicide. In fact in can be a trigger to bring back a horrible memory of the tragedy you experienced. Or you may…
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How to help yourself through grief
FOR GRIEVERS Grief is so powerful that people sometimes look for ways to go around it rather than experience it. This doesn’t work. The best thing you can do for yourself is to work through grief and express your feelings. The following are specific ways to help yourself work through grief. Take care of your…
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My Pain is a Small Price to Pay for Her Peace
I was speaking with a friend recently, and he asked me the question everyone in the group gets asked frequently but with a different twist. “How are you doing? I know it’s been over three years since your wife died. Are you seeing anyone? Are you thinking about moving or retiring? What are your plans”?…
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ONE MISSISSIPPI, TWO MISSISSIPPI
Since your wife died, how often have you been thoroughly confused by the kindness of women towards you? How often have you, even though you know it is wrong, thought there might be something there? I am not embarrassed to tell you that I had many such instances. For example, within a few months of…
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MEN HEAR MEN
’’Men tend to replace while women process.” That statement may have some truth, but hopefully, it is not always true. Men need to process their grief as well. Then, there is the time factor to consider. Generally, men can take 6 to 18 months to process their grief; women tend to take one to two…
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Custodian of Memories of Your Wife
You, a widowed man, probably are your wife’s main custodian of memories. Custodian here means “caretaker” and “preserver,” not “janitor.” It’s very likely you knew your wife better than anyone else did. The fact that you lived with her, shared her life, and knew her joys and sorrows makes you a privileged caretaker. Your children…
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