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Transitions
When a widower finds a new love interest and the opportunity for her to visit the home arises, the question of what to do about pictures of his late wife and other reflections of her in the home occurs, too. Jasmine had a refined artistic touch that flowed from her Japanese cultural heritage. Her fingerprints…
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Forgiveness – what role does it play in my grief journey?
Guilt and anger are recognized characteristics of the grief journey – Guilt over what could have been done or should have been done; guilt over things left unsaid or things that were better left unsaid; guilt over those fleeting moments where a smile might form around the corners of your mouth; guilt for some unknown…
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What’s your mountain?
I live in Indiana. It’s flat. Think pancake flat. But I’m climbing a mountain. So are you. As surviving spouses, we all climb the “second mountain” in life. I just finished an interesting book titled The Second Mountain. While the book isn’t written from a grief perspective, it speaks to many of our challenges. As…
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Are You Talking to Others?
After losing our wives, many of us find ourselves unable to communicate effectively with others. Even those of us who come from careers in communication may find ourselves suddenly at a loss for words. Numbness, physical and mental pain, a sense of surrealness, and disrupted attention spans interfere with our ability to comprehend, organize thoughts,…
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Looking back to move ahead.
Over the past few weeks, I have been re-reading my journals. At the suggestion of my grief counselor over two- and one-half years ago, I started to write a journal. I have many composition books that contain my feelings, thoughts, and emotions that chronicle the last three years of my journey in the world of…
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Widower – Noun or Verb?
Please permit me to use a little literary license with the word Widower strict grammarians and all English teachers would call a noun. It’s a proper name and, as such, falls under the noun category. I, however, want to play with the word and change it into a verb. By making it an action word,…
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We Need To Live Our Lives Unencumbered
I recently made a run to the nearby Goodwill store. My wife had collected items we just don’t need anymore, and it was time to pass them on to someone who perhaps could get better use out of the. Life is constantly moving forward, and along the journey we change, we grow, and there are…
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The Billiard Table
So many of us have commented on this site about how often triggers hijack us. I’m no different in that regard. I get hit up all the time. Having lived 39 years in the same neighborhood and township, I am constantly reminded of my life with my beloved Jan almost everywhere I go. I am…
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I feel helpless; how do I help my friend who is grieving?
Recently I spoke with a group of people about grief and grieving, and one person asked me a question I offer as my title for the column I am writing this week. A young man said he felt sad for his friend who lost his mother and did not know what to do or say.…
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Our Healing Community
I’ve been writing lately about my grief support group. I’ve been playing the role of “player-coach.” Having never been a part of a support group before, it has been an enlightening experience. I’m sure I’m not alone in the support group world of being both a participant and facilitating a group at the same time,…
Widowers Support Network 