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Life is Best When Lived in Pencil – Part 3
My last blog talked about self-care and looking out for number 1 (us!). I want to dig into that a little deeper today. To me, the most critical component of self-care is recognizing and embracing our inner truth. My inner truth is a feeling deep in my core. It’s the “ thing” that can keep…
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Permission To Grieve
The meeting was well attended. I talked for over 45 minutes about lessons learned from grieving the loss of two wives and the areas of my life that affected me. In the course of my discussion, I gave a list of other experiences in life where grieving often needs to occur. Among them was…
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SHOULD A WIDOW(ER) PAY FOR THEIR CHILD’S WEDDING?
WITH THE AVERAGE COST OF A WEDDING HOVERING AT $60,000, HOW MUCH AM I EXPECTED TO CONTRIBUTE? My two boys found love and are getting married. As a widower, I’m both happy and sad and wondering about the price tag. I’m going to be Father of the Groom at… not one, but two… weddings. My…
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Life is like riding a bicycle; to keep your balance; you must keep moving” – Albert Einstein
Over 93 years ago, Albert Einstein wrote a letter to his son to encourage him never to give up. I don’t know what the circumstances of the letter involved, but I know Einstein, the physicist used an image that his son could easily relate to a bicycle. Momentum, along with a rider’s balance, helps keep…
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ACCEPTING LIFE AS A WIDOWER: THE 30 MONTH MARK
I lost my wife Mary in January 2020. At the time I didn’t know how I’d move forward. My journey continues, on a road paved by acceptance. January 2020 was when my beloved wife, friend, soulmate, and rock of 33 years, Mary, passed away after a brave fight against cancer. PERSONAL COMMUNITY After Mary’s death,…
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Life is Best When Lived In Pencil – Part 2
Change, change, change. The only constant seems to be change. In a recent column, I shared that I am considering moving back to the area where I was raised. That’s a huge change for me. That’s getting out the pencil and erasing some plans that had previously been considered to be permanent. It’s good, though,…
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What is Love Now?
When we were young, we often confused physical attraction and sex with love. I know that during my teens, I would fall in love with a new girl almost every month. As soon as I saw a new pretty face I was head over heels again even though I was still in a relationship with…
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Knowing That You Care
I had a delightful surprise yesterday. The hospice where I volunteer as a minister to men who are caregivers and widowers asked me to co-facilitate a grief support group they had recently formed after over a year of not providing one. The first of eight meetings was yesterday. There were 22 attendees, plus the facilitator…
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Can Being Widowed Make You A Better Person?
WHEN MARY DIED, I LOST MY SOULMATE AND THE LOVE OF MY LIFE. BUT I DISCOVERED SOMEONE NEW – MYSELF. The mere thought that being a widow or widower can have positive aspects feels taboo – something we don’t talk about. I’m about to say what might sound like the most terrible thing a widow…
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New Beginnings
During the last four months of 2021, I was mourning the loss of my wife, Jan, to a fatal stroke after 26 months as an invalid resulting from three other strokes. I went to Tennessee to visit my sister two months after the funeral, and went to Colorado over Christmas to visit with my son…
Widowers Support Network 