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Are You Talking to Others?
After losing our wives, many of us find ourselves unable to communicate effectively with others. Even those of us who come from careers in communication may find ourselves suddenly at a loss for words. Numbness, physical and mental pain, a sense of surrealness, and disrupted attention spans interfere with our ability to comprehend, organize thoughts,…
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Romance, Love, Friendship, and Marriage
As a widower, I first thought I might meet a woman whom I would marry: my second wife. I thought of this woman as a new romance, a time of head-spinning infatuation and a soaring imagination about the life we might have together. I realized the first flames of romance might cool, and I began…
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Going it Alone
My dear brothers, of the many things I was not prepared for when becoming a widower, finding a satisfying relationship with another woman has proved to be the most daunting. For those of you that have found either a meaningful relationship or true love again, I salute you. Me, not so fortunate so far. For…
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Playing Not To Lose
by David W. Welday March Madness is here! Whether or not you follow college basketball, it’s hard not to be aware that the NCAA college basketball tournament (affectionately known as “March Madness”) is happening. In our family we all fill out a bracket…some of us take it seriously while others fill out their bracket…
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Hello: Is Anyone Still Out There?
Recently, I have gone through a personal inventory. Of the many aspects of my life, I have looked at is the quality of the relationships in my life. I am sure like many other people you hear the phrase, “ you can call me anytime”. Except when you chose to call. Let’s have lunch, “except…
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7 Steps Before, During, and After Death
By Fred Colby You had a romantic wedding, celebrated the birth of children, and got comfortable with your happily-ever-after life. Then tragedy struck, and you realized how fragile the human body could be. Suddenly, you faced the prospect of seeing the source of your happily-ever-after life take her last breath. When a terminal illness shapes…
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Do You Have Male Friends?
Noted clinical psychologist Edward Zimmer, MA, from Savannah, Georgia, is a friend of mine. You may recognize his name as he was a contributor to my book, The Widower’s Journey, and has been a guest on my podcast, Widower’s Journey Podcast. Better said, he is a childhood friend I first met on a baseball diamond when I was only…
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First Ever-Date? Girlfriend? or Lover?
Was your wife the first woman/girl you ever: Either directly (through my website or Facebook page) or indirectly (through Widowers Support Network), I frequently hear from others who experienced one of these “firsts” with their wives. And I have often wondered how that might impact the grief journey for these brothers in grief. While that…
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Now that I’m a widower, should I treat my three kids equally in my will?
by Richard Dri After Mary died, I began rethinking our mutual agreement to treat each child equally. As a widower, I must have the confidence to make my own decisions even if it means contradicting my late spouse’s positions. When Mary and I drafted our Wills, we agreed to leave everything to the surviving spouse…
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God, Football, Sex and Gold-diggers
by Fred Colby Admit it! How often have even the most devout of us chosen to attend a football game (or other favorite sport or activity) instead of church? Or instead of spending time with your family? Or instead of honoring a previous commitment to a friend? If you are a churchgoer, you might be…
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