Don’t Expect Others to Know What to Do Following Your Loss

Following the passing of a wife or life-partner, it is the widower who needs support, not the deceased. So why is it that so many widowed men complain about their sense of abandonment by their families, friends, neighbors, and co-workers following their loss? Behaviors and interactions with those who you would hope would be ofContinue reading “Don’t Expect Others to Know What to Do Following Your Loss”

A Message for a Widower’s Friends and Family

A kind word can save a widower. Amazing, but true! When a widower is buried in grief, just one kind word from someone can make their grief bearable and make their chances of surviving their grief intact more likely. More than once, a friend called me at just the right time and offered kind wordsContinue reading “A Message for a Widower’s Friends and Family”

Can you see and be the Lights?

On January 20th, 2021 a precocious 22-year-old African -American woman told a divided and grief-stricken nation “We can grow as we Grieve”. I like most people was awe-struck by her profound wisdom that far exceeds her youth. My purpose in writing is to examine her poem as she speaks to us about grief and shedsContinue reading “Can you see and be the Lights?”


This is the famous quote from John Lennon. As I sat down to write this, that quote came to mind because I never expected things to go the way they’ve gone. Yes, we all hated the pandemic that seems to have no end, the uncertainty of the virus’s danger, the inability to be with familyContinue reading “LIFE HAPPENS WHILE YOU’RE BUSY MAKING OTHER PLANS”

Brothers: We Still Have a Purpose

For many of you, this title strikes you as a bit rhetorical. For others, you may take one look and discount this notion entirely. My brothers welcome to one of the many complex aspects of being a widower. Early in my widowhood, I found myself completely unprepared to deal with the difficulty I had withContinue reading “Brothers: We Still Have a Purpose”

Finding Help for Your Grief

Losing your wife is so all-encompassing that it may not be comparable to any other loss except possibly the death of a child. The complete intertwining of your life with your wife in marriage makes her death distinctly life-shattering and life-changing. For this reason, many men find they need both informal and formal help inContinue reading “Finding Help for Your Grief”