-
Self-Care is Non-Negotiable
I recently heard someone on television state the title I use for my column today. I thought about how vital that statement is for all people, especially for widowers. As caregivers for our late wives, we often neglected our health. We did not have time to go to the doctor’s office or did not want…
-
What Do You Say To Someone Who Is Suffering?
As the co-facilitator of a religious grief support group, I was recently asked what I usually say to someone who has recently suffered a loss. I tell people often I don’t say anything. I don’t have words or a vocabulary that can take away their tears, make them feel less sad, or provide the comfort…
-
My Pain is a Small Price to Pay for Her Peace
I was speaking with a friend recently, and he asked me the question everyone in the group gets asked frequently but with a different twist. “How are you doing? I know it’s been over three years since your wife died. Are you seeing anyone? Are you thinking about moving or retiring? What are your plans”?…
-
Death takes a Life but does not take away Love.
Every three months, I facilitate a bereavement support group for my church via Zoom; anywhere from 8 to 12 people show up. Some have recently lost a loved one; others are further along in the journey of grief and are trying to gain peace and comfort; one or two want to continue to benefit…
-
Keep trying to be the man she loved.
Recently I was watching a tv show in which one character; a widower asked another character; also, a widower slightly longer in grief than the first character “How do I go on? I am lost. “The character who had been a widower longer paused and then said; “I keep trying to be the man she…
-
How Long Does Grief Last? Hint: It’s A Journey
It’s a common question posed by those of us who have suffered a loss. It’s our attempt to understand or attach meaning to something unfathomable. In my case, I lost my spouse; it makes no sense, and I need to understand how I can deal with the unbearable pain that has broken my heart. In…
-
You must open yourself up again if you ever want to heal.
One of my favorite tv shows is NCIS. I love the characters, the plot lines, and the exciting stories they investigate. Obviously, it’s a show that deals with death in every episode, but it’s also a show in which the main characters learn to deal with personal tragedy and how to deal with grief. In…
-
Looking back to move ahead.
Over the past few weeks, I have been re-reading my journals. At the suggestion of my grief counselor over two- and one-half years ago, I started to write a journal. I have many composition books that contain my feelings, thoughts, and emotions that chronicle the last three years of my journey in the world of…
-
Widower – Noun or Verb?
Please permit me to use a little literary license with the word Widower strict grammarians and all English teachers would call a noun. It’s a proper name and, as such, falls under the noun category. I, however, want to play with the word and change it into a verb. By making it an action word,…
-
I feel helpless; how do I help my friend who is grieving?
Recently I spoke with a group of people about grief and grieving, and one person asked me a question I offer as my title for the column I am writing this week. A young man said he felt sad for his friend who lost his mother and did not know what to do or say.…
Widowers Support Network 