Author: Tom Peyton

  • The Healing Power of a Group

    The Healing Power of a Group

    by Tom Peytom Recently I met with an old friend I worked with many years ago at a diner near my home for dinner. We were both excited since I had not seen him in about five years. During our dinner, he asked the question that so many friends and acquaintances often pose to me; […]

  • What do I do with my loved one’s clothing

    What do I do with my loved one’s clothing

    It’s the question we widowers and widows must one day face. It is like the other questions we encounter as we move forward in life. Do I continue to wear my wedding ring? Do I stay in my house or apartment or move to another place of residence?  Do I choose to date or choose […]

  • Showing up to Grief

    Showing up to Grief

    By Tom Peyton The filmmaker Woody Allen is credited with the saying, “80 percent of success is simply showing up.” Over time it got changed to 90 percent. The percentage is not essential; instead, the two simple words: showing up to me are most important. I am almost 15 months into the Widowers’ Journey. At […]

  • “Sometimes our healing happens when we change the way we relate to the things that will not change” – Vienna Pharaon

    “Sometimes our healing happens when we change the way we relate to the things that will not change”              – Vienna Pharaon

    By Tom Peyton As I mentioned in a previous column, I receive daily inspirational quotes, and this one arrived not only from the site that sends them but forwarded as well from a high school classmate to me. They are both asking me to examine the quote and unravel its meaning. I will give it […]

  • A Ship Is Safe in a Harbor; but that’s not what a Ship is for.” – John A. Shedd

    A Ship Is Safe in a Harbor; but that’s not what a Ship is for.”     – John A. Shedd

    By Tom Peyton I am not sure how it happened but somehow, I signed up to receive daily inspirational quotes from a company on the internet. The quotes are often thought – provoking and some are quite funny. Its better than getting phone calls and emails that my automobile warranty is expiring. Last week I […]

  • I will not let Grief control me!

    I will not let Grief control me!

    On Friday March 12th, 2021, my family and I along with some friends gathered at a funeral home in in Brooklyn NY to honor, remember and show our love to my brother-in -law. My late wife’s oldest brother and the last survivor of her family passed away after a battle with throat cancer. Our service […]

  • Is It Possible to Befriend Grief?

    Is It Possible to Befriend Grief?

    by Tom Peyton For the past several months my grief counselor has encouraged me to look at grief from a different perspective. Instead of allowing it at times to crush my spirit, to hit me with an avalanche of tears or overwhelm me with sadness and pain, he suggested I view it as a friend. […]

  • Can you see and be the Lights?

    Can you see and be the Lights?

    On January 20th, 2021 a precocious 22-year-old African -American woman told a divided and grief-stricken nation “We can grow as we Grieve”. I like most people was awe-struck by her profound wisdom that far exceeds her youth. My purpose in writing is to examine her poem as she speaks to us about grief and sheds […]

  • Who Rescued Whom?

    Who Rescued Whom?

    WSN-MO: Guest Columnist, Tom Peyton I have been on the Widowers Journey for over four months, and although I struggle at times, I never stop moving forward. Even though the journey is challenging, I wake up each day and push forward determined to pay tribute to my wife by following the mantra of Herb Knoll: […]