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A Support Circle Can Help You Heal
Eight years ago, I found myself where many of you are today… in a deep grieving mode without the one person I could always rely upon to hear, support, and love me whenever I faced a major challenge. I, like many of you, had to decide: I recognized early on that I could not do…
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QUICK HITTERS # 5
Quick Hitters are brief responses to Questions posed by author Fred Colby to his fellow WSN contributors. They offer a variety of perspectives on some of the most challenging questions facing new widowers. Enjoy. Quick Hitter Question #5: Is it okay to Bury Myself in Projects or Work to Avoid Grieving? Jesse Brisendine: Staying busy…
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Whistle Past The Graveyard
Whistle past the graveyard is an old expression. Here’s how the dictionary defines the phrase: Definition of whistle past the graveyard: to act or talk as if one is relaxed and not afraid when one is actually afraid or nervous. He displays a confident manner, but he may just be whistling past the graveyard. I…
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Another Milestone
As the 25th of August was nearing, I had ample time to reflect on the second anniversary of my wife, Jan’s, passing. For several days, I thought of little else. On the 25th, I went to our local supermarket and bought a bouquet of pink roses—her favorite—and drove to our church, where her cremains are…
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Reminiscing – does it hurt, or does it heal?
How often have people tried to console you after losing your loved one with the cliché, “Thank God you have your memories?” My memories were my worst nightmare! They were a constant reminder of my loss. They brought me no consolation. Yet, for others they browse through pictures and videos reliving precious moments. Each of…
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Every year I share the 9/11 story of myself and my childhood best friend, Mike.
It’s an amazing story of baseball, beer, and friendship. In 2016 , our story went viral by being told by Mike Rowe on his “The Way I Heard It” podcast. The episode was called “You Don’t Know Mike”. But it goes even deeper than that. In my book, Shake Yourself Free, I write about how crucial my…
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I Don’t Want to Heal!
Are you floating in a sea of grief with only a life vest of memories keeping you afloat? If you are not careful, that life vest can become a heavy weight of anger, regrets, and fear that drags you down into depression. Grief during the early stages can be physically and mentally painful to the…
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My Breakout Year
Several months ago, I shared that 2023 would be my “breakout year.” At the time, I didn’t know what that meant, except I intended to focus on myself and the beginning of my new life following the loss of my beloved Jan, my wife and soul mate, for 51 years. I had spent the second…
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Forgiveness – what role does it play in my grief journey?
Guilt and anger are recognized characteristics of the grief journey – Guilt over what could have been done or should have been done; guilt over things left unsaid or things that were better left unsaid; guilt over those fleeting moments where a smile might form around the corners of your mouth; guilt for some unknown…
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Are You Talking to Others?
After losing our wives, many of us find ourselves unable to communicate effectively with others. Even those of us who come from careers in communication may find ourselves suddenly at a loss for words. Numbness, physical and mental pain, a sense of surrealness, and disrupted attention spans interfere with our ability to comprehend, organize thoughts,…
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