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WHO AM I?
One of the unexpected adjustments I experienced following my wife’s death was to answer the question, “Who am I now that I’m not her husband?” I did not realize just how much of my identity was wrapped up in being her husband. As time passed, I realized it was not uncommon to adjust when someone…
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Flying Solo
Recently I was having a conversation with my son, and he asked me how I was feeling. I told him I was ok. Every four or five months I see my cardiologist and primary care physician who monitor my health. For the most part I am fine: overweight as I have been most of my…
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Strengthen What Remains
My dear Brothers. Over the past three plus years, I have had the privilege of sharing my thoughts with you. I have found this opportunity to be a tremendous honor. But as many things in life, I find it time to move forward with other projects and priorities in my life. Herb has honored me…
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Role Changes After Loss
Many of us have lived two lives concurrently. The first is our Home-Life, with our wife and family. Most of us also have or had a Work-Life with our co-workers, customers, bosses, etc. Each of these lives is often very different and distinct from the other. If we become too immersed in one, the other…
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What Have I Learned in 18 Months
I have never paid more attention to milestones than I have since losing my wife. I’m on the cusp of 18 months without her, and it hit me recently that I am in a much different place than I was 18 months ago. I recently had this discussion with my grief counselor. I have been…
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Life is Best When Lived in Pencil – Part 3
My last blog talked about self-care and looking out for number 1 (us!). I want to dig into that a little deeper today. To me, the most critical component of self-care is recognizing and embracing our inner truth. My inner truth is a feeling deep in my core. It’s the “ thing” that can keep…
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Bonds That Are Never Broken
During a recent conversation with a widowed friend, I reflected on some of the unexpected roles we may inherit upon becoming widowers. One of which I hold especially dear is being the curator of my wife Robyn’s and my love. Often, we are accused of deifying our loved ones after their death. In many cases,…
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Knowing That You Care
I had a delightful surprise yesterday. The hospice where I volunteer as a minister to men who are caregivers and widowers asked me to co-facilitate a grief support group they had recently formed after over a year of not providing one. The first of eight meetings was yesterday. There were 22 attendees, plus the facilitator…
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Life Is Best When Lived In Pencil
Life is best when lived in pencil. Life is best when we accept and adapt to ournew realities. Life is best when we embrace the fact that our lives are not over. Aportion and chapter of our lives has ended, however, there is more to go. Life isbest when we realize we can be restored…
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New Beginnings
During the last four months of 2021, I was mourning the loss of my wife, Jan, to a fatal stroke after 26 months as an invalid resulting from three other strokes. I went to Tennessee to visit my sister two months after the funeral, and went to Colorado over Christmas to visit with my son…
Widowers Support Network 