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I Don’t Want to Heal!
Are you floating in a sea of grief with only a life vest of memories keeping you afloat? If you are not careful, that life vest can become a heavy weight of anger, regrets, and fear that drags you down into depression. Grief during the early stages can be physically and mentally painful to the…
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The Heart Expands
I had known one of Dana’s best friends (Laura) since first grade. With nowhere to really go where I felt comfortable, I started stopping by her apartment after Dana’s death. We’d share stories of Dana, while allowing each other to be comfortable in our grief. Shortly thereafter, Shelly moved in with Laura. I vaguely knew…
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My Breakout Year
Several months ago, I shared that 2023 would be my “breakout year.” At the time, I didn’t know what that meant, except I intended to focus on myself and the beginning of my new life following the loss of my beloved Jan, my wife and soul mate, for 51 years. I had spent the second…
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How Long Does Grief Last? Hint: It’s A Journey
It’s a common question posed by those of us who have suffered a loss. It’s our attempt to understand or attach meaning to something unfathomable. In my case, I lost my spouse; it makes no sense, and I need to understand how I can deal with the unbearable pain that has broken my heart. In…
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WHAT DO GERVAIS, BACKMAN, HANKS, AND GERRY TURNER HAVE IN COMMON?
All four men are bringing increased attention to widowers and the many issues we face after losing our wives. There is an upsurge in interest in widowers and their grief journeys due to these four men who have brought open and frank discussions of the topic to the forefront. We believe this will help break…
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Be Still
A recent photo taken of my one year old granddaughter, Emily, was taken while she waited for her appointment with her chiropractor. Chiropractor? Yes, she has been going to a chiropractor since she was an infant. Reading her expression, I’m unsure of what is happening inside her. It could be fear, anxiety, or concern for her…
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LOVE HURTS
Most of us over 50 remember the popular song, Love Hurts, written by Boudleaux Bryant and sung by Roy Orbison, Nazareth, Everly Brothers, and many others. The first lyrics, though written for the pain of young love, apply equally to the pain we feel when our wives pass: Love hurtsLove scarsLove wounds and marksAny…
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You must open yourself up again if you ever want to heal.
One of my favorite tv shows is NCIS. I love the characters, the plot lines, and the exciting stories they investigate. Obviously, it’s a show that deals with death in every episode, but it’s also a show in which the main characters learn to deal with personal tragedy and how to deal with grief. In…
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Transitions
When a widower finds a new love interest and the opportunity for her to visit the home arises, the question of what to do about pictures of his late wife and other reflections of her in the home occurs, too. Jasmine had a refined artistic touch that flowed from her Japanese cultural heritage. Her fingerprints…
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Forgiveness – what role does it play in my grief journey?
Guilt and anger are recognized characteristics of the grief journey – Guilt over what could have been done or should have been done; guilt over things left unsaid or things that were better left unsaid; guilt over those fleeting moments where a smile might form around the corners of your mouth; guilt for some unknown…
Widowers Support Network 