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What Do You Say To Someone Who Is Suffering?
As the co-facilitator of a religious grief support group, I was recently asked what I usually say to someone who has recently suffered a loss. I tell people often I don’t say anything. I don’t have words or a vocabulary that can take away their tears, make them feel less sad, or provide the comfort…
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Quick Hitters # 7
Quick Hitters are brief responses to Questions posed by author Fred Colby to his fellow WSN contributors. They offer a variety of perspectives on some of the most challenging questions facing new widowers. Enjoy. Quick Hitter Question #7: What is the most important thing to do to preserve my relationships with friends and family after…
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Grace
It has been an unbelievable week. To start, one of my best friend’s wife passed away. I learned that a friend from a long time ago recently died in Europe. Another friend I’ve known for 60+ years had a severe stroke, and my favorite aunt died. Talk about a piling-on! It seems like everywhere I…
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A Support Circle Can Help You Heal
Eight years ago, I found myself where many of you are today… in a deep grieving mode without the one person I could always rely upon to hear, support, and love me whenever I faced a major challenge. I, like many of you, had to decide: I recognized early on that I could not do…
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Financial Advice for Widowers Planning to Remarry
There are many factors that can positively and negatively affect a relationship… excess baggage, shared interests, attraction and even cold feet. But when money and love collide, that gets tricky. Combining love, widowhood and wealth can be even trickier, but not impossible. Here is what I learned when I began dating again after the death of…
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How to help yourself through grief
FOR GRIEVERS Grief is so powerful that people sometimes look for ways to go around it rather than experience it. This doesn’t work. The best thing you can do for yourself is to work through grief and express your feelings. The following are specific ways to help yourself work through grief. Take care of your…
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My Pain is a Small Price to Pay for Her Peace
I was speaking with a friend recently, and he asked me the question everyone in the group gets asked frequently but with a different twist. “How are you doing? I know it’s been over three years since your wife died. Are you seeing anyone? Are you thinking about moving or retiring? What are your plans”?…
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ONE MISSISSIPPI, TWO MISSISSIPPI
Since your wife died, how often have you been thoroughly confused by the kindness of women towards you? How often have you, even though you know it is wrong, thought there might be something there? I am not embarrassed to tell you that I had many such instances. For example, within a few months of…
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MEN HEAR MEN
’’Men tend to replace while women process.” That statement may have some truth, but hopefully, it is not always true. Men need to process their grief as well. Then, there is the time factor to consider. Generally, men can take 6 to 18 months to process their grief; women tend to take one to two…
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QUICK HITTERS # 5
Quick Hitters are brief responses to Questions posed by author Fred Colby to his fellow WSN contributors. They offer a variety of perspectives on some of the most challenging questions facing new widowers. Enjoy. Quick Hitter Question #5: Is it okay to Bury Myself in Projects or Work to Avoid Grieving? Jesse Brisendine: Staying busy…
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